Tension In Between

It is December 31st, 2018. For some it is the night before a new beginning. Others would call it an ending. Many make resolutions. I resolved years ago (as many of you already know) not to make resolutions, choosing to make changes in behavior when I found them necessary. Although I don’t plan to make any solid resolutions, I do have a percolating character alteration begging for activation.

For the majority of my life I thought I was an extrovert. It wasn’t until 2018 that someone suggested the true differentiation between extrovert and introvert was determined by how one unwinds or recharges; with or without people. I was posed with the question, “Do your batteries recharge in a night out with friends, or by yourself?” My answer came to me without hesitation. I recharge by myself with my a guitar or banjo, with a walk in the woods, or with a book. Or just sitting with a cup of tea, staring out at my garden or at the wood burning in my fireplace. I am, alas, an introvert.

For many of my friends this is frustrating because when I am afforded a precious nugget of free time, I head to one of my recharging stations and not to the phone. In fact, I think I may be allergic to phone calls, and perhaps communication in general. I’m one of those people who can go on a long car ride with a friend and not say anything, gaining enjoyment from the companionship with very few words exchanged. I have so many precious friends that I seemingly neglect, gaining enjoyment simply from knowing they are there. But to my friends this resounds as neglect.

It’s silly really, because once I’m on the phone or receive an email reply, etc., I enjoy the connection. And being a friend more or less necessitates a bit of effort on both sides, I suppose. So my unresolution is to let the door to my lair creek open more frequently, knock down some cobwebs, and refresh myself on how to dial out on my phone.

So, as I battle the tension between my introverted nature and my desire to be a better friend (and responsible blogging author) I’ll stare down my cell phone until I finally goad myself into renewing some contacts. Maybe I’ll practice finger exercises so I don’t sprain a digit making my first phone call or email. And to those of you, my friends, who have faithfully put up with my ongoing silence, I thank you very sincerely. My silence is not a negative reflection on you, but a statement of faith in our friendship.

Happy New Year! May it take you around many happy corners.


Shai Adair

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: